Why They All Go to Mardi Gras

You'd think that as the largest city in one of the world's most prosperous Western countries, Auckland would have a decent gay life.

Think again.

At 1.4 million people, the Auckland metropolitan area is smaller than Milwaukee or Nashville. I haven't been to gay bars in either of those places, but they are probably better than what was on offer in Auckland when we were there (granted, it was a Tuesday night): one bar, in essence, called Family. I took a picture of it during the day ...


... but this doesn't begin to capture what the place (a narrow, long, slightly grotty space) is like at night.

It's the bar from "Star Wars."

Because it's the only place to go, everyone seems to go there. And as a result you have a Samoan transsexual leading karaoke night, accompanied by skinny little boys with too much bleach and gel in their hair; big Maori dancers of both sexes; and a few perplexed tourists.

Glad I went. Would hate to have to go there again. Totally makes sense that the biggest advertising banner on the wall was promoting Air New Zealand's "pink flight" to Sydney Mardi Gras the following week.

Our Lonely Planet book reported that Wellington didn't even have a gay bar anymore, but Joey noticed one as we were walking around on the Cuba Street entertainment strip, and it turned out to be a good deal nicer than the one in Auckland:


Done up as a sort of English pub, it was packed with young to middle-aged, attractive office workers enjoying a beer or (more frequently) some local wine at the end of the work week.

Then I noticed that we -- who were just in town for a few hours while our ship, the Volendam, docked for a port call -- were the honored guests:


Welcome, indeed.